Man, what a weekend we just had. Here’s the invation I sent to everyone; let’s just say it turned out to be a very accurate description…
Aaaah, the life of a Kobe Beef… You spend your life immobile, eating food designed to make you taste good, drinking alcohol so you remain placid and complacent, and you get body massages to make you as tender as possible.
FORTUNATELY! You don’t need to wait to die in this life and then reincarnate as a cow to enjoy the life of the Kobe Beef! Because we’re gonna have a Kobe Beef Weekend!
Here’s the program:
Place: Gintei Teppanyaki
Time: Saturday 7h00 PM
Cost: Approx. 180 RMB
Concept’s simple: we eat. A lot. We drink. A LOT. We have a good time.
Step 2: The Cow Goes Moo
Place: Partyworld Karaoke – Fuxing Park
Time: Saturday 9h00 PM
Cost: Approx. 200 RMB
A happy cow is an expressive cow. Come and belt out your favorite Sinatra or Elvis song! Plenty of alcohol, also, so if you’re afraid of being mike-shy… You obviously haven’t been to karaoke with us!
Step 3: REALLY Fattening the Cow
Place: Westin Sunday Brunch
Time: Sunday 11 AM
Cost: Approx. 350 RMB
Hope you worked off the calories on Saturday night, because we’re gonna go at it again on Sunday! Westin brunch, with plenty of seafood, caviar, sushi, chocolate… and free-flowing champagne!
Step 4: Tenderizing the Meat
Place: Green Massage
Time: Sunday 3 PM
Cost: Approx. 200 RMB
A 2-hour massage to top it all off. Gotta make the meat as tender as possible.
Step 5: Abattoir
Time: Sunday 5 PM
Cost: Approx. 100 RMB
Just in time for the end of the weekend, we go around a go-kart circuit at breakneck speeds and still buzzed on champagne. Every time one of us dies, secretive cooks come and pry us off the carcass of our karts, and cook us for the enjoyment of rich Japanese tourists who like their expat meat to be of the highest grade possible!
And off we went to one crazy weekend. Separately, all these activities are a lot of fun… But together, they amounted to an insane weekend. When we finally made it to the karting circuit, most of us had what could only be called party fatigue. After a heavy night of drinking and singing, eating brunch at the Westin then going for a massage was an overpowering experience.
That being said, none of us killed ourselves on the race track, so the rich Japanese guys were unfortunately deprived of their dinner. It’s too bad: I’m sure I was especially tender…