I’ve been rereading my old blog entries from when I was back in Shanghai, and it’s starting to hit me: I miss being out of my comfort zone.
Edmonton is really nice, and quite comfortable so far (granted, this is the summer and not the dark end of February.) Montreal was also familiar very quickly when Helene and I went back last year. That’s a good thing, in a sense… But I’m reading about exploring Japan or chatting with a North Korean waitress in Mandarin, and I feel like I left a part of myself in a foreign land.
I’m not saying I want to leave Edmonton right away, or that it was in any way a bad decision to come here… But it feels like I’m gathering myself, here in Western Canada. I’m gathering myself for another jump into the unknown. I don’t think it will be China (although I wouldn’t exclude the possibility), but China is, well… somewhat familiar now. I miss it, for sure, and I want to go back, but the lure I’m talking about is the pure joy and terror of being in a completely alien land again; which China isn’t anymore.
Where to next? I don’t know. I have 2-3 years to think about it. It’d be nice to go somewhere strange again.
That’s it… I’m strangesick.